CHRONOLOGY OF OUR RELIGIOUS HISTORY
Although we were raised in different states (Paul in rural Minnesota and Barb in rural Wisconsin) our histories are quite similar up until the time we married. Our white, middle class families were both part of established, mainline denominations in which we were thoroughly indoctrinated. We were married in a church and attended church for a couple of years after marriage. That is the point where we will begin outlining our history in some detail.
We first became disaffected with church in our late twenties (late 1960’s). There seemed to be no life in it for others and there was surely no life in it for us. So we completely disengaged from organized religion.
About fifteen years later, Barb began having stirrings that caused her to want to go back to her childhood religion. So she began “going to church” and joined a Bible study. Paul had no such stirrings and did not attend. This lasted for about two years, during which time our children who were in their early teens began going to Sunday school and enrolled in confirmation class even though they were never baptized as infants.
Then, while still an avowed atheist/agnostic, Paul began attending a men’s Bible study. He also began attending church regularly with Barb. Our children also attended church until their confirmation was complete.
One and one half years later, Paul became a committed believer (or at least as committed as an Old Covenant believer can be). This happened while attending a mainline denomination.
Because of trouble in the church we were attending, friends left to “go to” another church. We did not like how the church we were attending was treating the pastor (he was now a friend and a member of the men’s Bible study), so we left the church also.
We became very involved in the new church (in an evangelical denomination) and attended regularly. It was a time of great spiritual growth for both of us and we made many friends there.
Two years later there was trouble in this church also. This time the pastor caused the trouble, but the elders made bad situation worse by handling it poorly. Again, we did not like how the church was dealing with the pastor or with the trouble so we left for another denomination.
The new church was Pentecostal/charismatic. We thought we had really arrived in a denomination that really knew how to worship and could not imagine ever leaving. Here we again became very involved and attended church regularly.
Two years later there was more trouble involving the lead pastor who was involved with a woman in the church. Again we did not like how the elders handled the situation, but we stuck it out. Staying was hard because we were angry with the church leadership and unable to forgive them for how they had treated the offending pastor and other associate pastors who had committed no offense. Needless to say, any illusions we might of had about this church being home for the rest of our lives were shattered, but we stayed because we did the hard work of reconciliation with the elders.
After four years of heavy involvement in that church, we left. The reason this time was not because of disaffection or anger over policies. Rather, we left because we felt that God wanted us to leave that one church and go to be a part of the larger Body of Christ. That meant that we were to not be members of one church but that we should “go to” different churches each Sunday. At first it was hard to do because we had real prejudices regarding the doctrines and religious practices of other denominations. But we soon learned that we could go and worship and fit in wherever we went. God dealt with our prejudices and we learned to become a part of the larger Body of Christ. This went on for one year. It was a very good year for us spiritually.
After one year of not having a church home, we desired to have one again. After visiting several churches during the year, we had picked out two (an old Baptist and a new Pentecostal) that we thought would be good fits for a permanent church home. We still labored under the illusion that there was a perfect church for us.
But God had different plans for us. He sent us back to the church we had left in anger five years earlier. Again we became very involved in church. And again we could see errors in leadership. Still we stuck it out for five years. This was a time of great spiritual growth for us, but not so much because of what we were learning Sunday mornings, but because of what we were learning by watching how church business was done. We began to see how church was more of a business and social club than a place where people could receive real ministry for real needs. It was a frustrating time but very educational.
This church planted a new church in a neighboring town. We were invited by the pastor of the church plant to leave our current church home and be a part of the new church. Because of frustration over lack of opportunities for us to minister to hurting people in our current church, we were ready to leave with hopes that this brand new church would not have the same problems we encountered in other churches.
We were active members of the church plant for two years. For most of that time we traveled to one or two small group meetings (which we led) a week plus trips on Sundays for church.
After two years we could see that life in the church plant was going to be very much like life in the parent church. At the same time. God began to open our eyes to our Hebrew roots. Even though we did not know what the alternative to conventional church was, we were ready to say goodbye to church as we had known it and venture out on our own. So we left on good terms in 2005 and, for the first time ever, began to seriously study for ourselves. We have not been part of a church since 2005. The only time we go to church is for weddings and funerals.
Study of our Hebrew roots took us back to the Pentateuch (first five books of the First Covenant). In our studies we came to believe for the first time that everything written in the Law (Torah) was still valid. For example, we accepted that the Law of the New Covenant that is written our hearts is the same Law that is revealed in the symbolic interpretation of the literal law. We could see that statements we had heard in church about not wanting to be under the Law were bad doctrine. We read John 1 (where it says that the Word became flesh) with new awareness that Jesus and the Law were the same thing. This was radically confirmed for us in a new understanding of Jesus’ words that He came to fulfill the spiritual law that is found when we discover the spiritual interpretation of the written law.
Our Hebrew Roots (i.e. Messianic Judaism) phase lasted about five years. It ended when we realized that we had just traded one religion for another and that we were now religiously practicing Messianic Judaism.
Next we studied randomly throughout the Bible while always attempting to connect scriptures together into a coherent whole. This gradually became easier as we learned how to interpret the spiritual meanings of the literal words. We didn’t realize it at first, but what we were really learning to do was listen to God’s voice while we were studying. This experience is discussed in LISTEN FOR GOD’S VOICE WHILE READING.